I may make “Unashamed” a series, a book, idk. But because it’s been the biggest stumbling block for me in my journey and over the last few days, I wanted to talk about it some more. 

Last night was a little rough. I decided to rip yet another bandaid off and make my blog post about some of my struggles. When I restarted blogging this last time, I told myself and my audience that I wouldn’t let shame win. It’s been hard. I didn’t want to write it. I was scared. I wanted to wait until the healing was “complete” but then I thought about what a friend said about the journey being important too. But after writing it, I had so much anxiety. Like, waking up having panic attacks type of anxiety. I almost deleted my post in the middle of the night. But I didn’t. And after waking up much calmer, I’m glad I didn’t. Because again, I’ve been met with grace and people who are thankful for me and proud of me. I realize now that those panic attacks were a combination of me getting into my head, but also the enemy trying to silence my voice. Because up until now, shame has, in fact, worked to keep me quiet about the most hurtful aspects of my journey. But not anymore. 

I think part of the hard part about facing shame is facing backlash from others. And as a professional, I have to be mindful of that. Not for myself but for the people I serve. There is still so much stigma surrounding mental health, sexual trauma, and sexuality in general. And while I do plan to speak about those things, I have to do so mindfully. 

Anyways, I chose to make this blog post this morning because it’s almost like a way for me to fight back against my own thoughts and fears. It’s a way of keeping my promise to not let shame silence me this time. And again, it’s a way to help and minister to others. 

I genuinely hope my words and story help encourage someone today. Y’all stay blessed.